"Not in his goals but in his transitions is man great."
And so as I pen my own words, my heart is heavy. I have felt this tug for a few months and have made every excuse for it. But no longer can I push this tugging aside. What is the tug, you ask? I even dread writing these words. It hurts to even contemplate that I'm going to write the words I know I need to.
It is time I said goodbye; goodbye to youth ministry.
I'm now sure that God is pulling me away. Today I sat and spoke with another youth leader who's been having some questions of their own. Talking with that person solidified the feelings I've been having. My husband and I have spoke about it. He's expressed a desire to let go, but I haven't been able to let go. I don't want to let go, but I feel I must.
There's so many questions on my heart and so many unknowns at this point. My heart literally trembles inside of me as I contemplate the hows of this transition. How do I leave when I know that I don't want to? I know God called me into this so many years ago, yet why am I being called away now? These are the questions I have for God and no human answer will do. I desire to hear from God directly. As scripture says, I will seek God with all my heart and soul and I will find Him (Deut. 4:29).
With a heavy heart, I write these words tonight not knowing the purpose of this calling to what seems like nothingness. But as the quote implied above, maybe this isn't nothingness, but maybe this is the great part of the journey.
One can only hope.
~*Melody*~
BTW, my thankfulness post is still on the way. I'm still working on my wording. It's really important that I get this one right.
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5 comments:
I believe that God calls us. He calls us to do things and sometimes He calls us to not do things, most often because He's calling us to do something else. It's not easy when it requires letting go of a God-given desire, but I've learned that sometimes we have to let go of what God's given us to do what He wants us to, and if He wants us to have them back, He will.
It's not easy, but if God really is calling you away from youth ministry, He MUST be calling you TO something greater. I pray that He reveals this to you, as I know that it's hard for our human hearts to not have the answers. I'm excited to see how things work out for you :-)
He called you to it for a season. He is leading you to something bigger and greater. You are faithful and He is going to bless you! I know that it is scary, but walk in faith and be blessed!
as Abraham, sometimes we "go" without knowing where we will end up, however, if we are following God's map for us we can trust that He is sufficient to lead the way. Trust is not always comfortable or easy, i try to remember it like this:
Totally
Rely
Upon
Scriptural
Truth
His Word is always sufficient for direction - the will of God will never lead you where the peace of God cannot keep you. (not sure where i heard that)
prayers for God's best
ps
sometimes i use the "s" for spiritual rather than scriptural as long as it points to The Truth-Jesus
I know God will take you through this transition with grace, and he has bigger plans for you! It's sometimes hard to do what God calls on us to do, but true faith and strength is displayed by people like you, who follow, even though you are reluctant.
<3
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