God Has a Way...

God has a way of working out things in our lives.  For a while now, I have been planning on writing a resignation letter to the Women's Ministry Team at my church.  I had decided that I wanted to concentrate solely on youth ministry.  I couldn't adequately do what I felt I needed to in both ministries, so I went with the one where I felt like God wanted me to be.  I do desire to do some women's ministry, but at this time, I feel like God wants me to stay working with my middle school girls.

I waited and waiting writing that letter though.  I'm not sure if it was just mere procrastination, fear of confrontation or maybe I was actually waiting on God, but in any case, I'm glad that I waited.  This past Sunday I was handed a thank you card and a flower for my service over the past year by the women's director.  Apparently God had been working behind the scenes and the women's ministry was completely dissolved (in the form that it had been).  So now I don't have to worry about writing a letter of resignation, there's nothing to resign from.

Isn't it strange and great at the same time when God takes care of things for you?  I mean, we all say that we trust Him to do just that, but do we really?  Do we really trust that God will handle things for us? Even the things that are the most uncomfortable?  I've been teaching my middle school girls about the different themes of the Bible.  We've been studying about how God cares, comforts and takes care of us.  This past week we were reading Psalm 37 about how trusting God allows him to bring good to our lives.

Look at this...
³ Trust in the LORD, and do good;
         Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
 ⁴ Delight yourself also in the LORD,
         And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
      
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD,
         Trust also in Him,
         And He shall bring it to pass.
 ⁶ He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
         And your justice as the noonday.
      
 ⁷ Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
         Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
         Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
 ⁸ Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
         Do not fret—it only causes harm.

Trusting and delighting in God brings us the desires of our heart. In contrast, anger, worry, or being unpleased with life only cause us harm.  Could this mean that being discontented with life holds God back from bring blessings into our lives?   Are we tying God's hands every time we complain or worry about our lives?  Oh my, this really makes me think twice about how I perceive about things !

I was talking to my mom earlier this week about perspectives.  We can look at things through a negative or a positive viewpoint.  There's a mountain directly across from my driveway.  On that mountain there's a wasteland of dead kudzu vines among the bare winter trees.  But there's also some evergreens clinging to rich dark green leaves.  I can choose to look at that mountain and only see dead things or I can choose to look and see that life is still present in the evergreen leaves.  It's my choice what perspective I take, not just in matters of things I see, but also in how I choose to feel about things.  What if we made the conscience choice to alter our viewpoints to the positive side?  What if we found something purposeful or meaningful about everything we go through in our lives?  Would God be able to move more effective in our lives? I'm inclined to think so.

Another thing that came to mind while I was talking to Mom was the differences between boundaries and limitations.  Boundaries are set by God; ie right from wrong, black from white.  Limitations are placed by man (often ourselves).....for nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).  We shouldn't allow man's limitations to hold us back from God's possibilities.  Please join with me in not allowing your own perspectives, fears, worries or complaints to hold you back from experiencing God's best for you.

There Are Days...

There are days in ones life that mean more than others. Days when things just seem to click. Days that seem they could last forever and that you'd be happy till the day you die.

And then there are days that seem like life will continue to dredge along. Days when you question your whole existence. Days when you look at a photo and see only everything that's missing.

There's often a great divide in the mind; a divide that needs some sort of bridge. I have often looked for such a bridge, only to find it too is one of those things that's missing.

While this entry makes no sense to most, for me, it's a transitions of sorts. I believe it's the transition between emptiness and contentment. I desire the latter, but often feel the former. Yet very slowly, by God's grace alone, the emptiness seems to dissipating....at least for this day.

~*Melody*~

Transitions....

Some transitions are easier than others. The one I'm about to describe is not one of the easy ones. It's through transitions like these that I reflect back on these words penned by Ralph Waldo Emerson...

"Not in his goals but in his transitions is man great."

And so as I pen my own words, my heart is heavy. I have felt this tug for a few months and have made every excuse for it. But no longer can I push this tugging aside. What is the tug, you ask? I even dread writing these words. It hurts to even contemplate that I'm going to write the words I know I need to.

It is time I said goodbye; goodbye to youth ministry.

I'm now sure that God is pulling me away. Today I sat and spoke with another youth leader who's been having some questions of their own. Talking with that person solidified the feelings I've been having. My husband and I have spoke about it. He's expressed a desire to let go, but I haven't been able to let go. I don't want to let go, but I feel I must.

There's so many questions on my heart and so many unknowns at this point. My heart literally trembles inside of me as I contemplate the hows of this transition. How do I leave when I know that I don't want to? I know God called me into this so many years ago, yet why am I being called away now? These are the questions I have for God and no human answer will do. I desire to hear from God directly. As scripture says, I will seek God with all my heart and soul and I will find Him (Deut. 4:29).

With a heavy heart, I write these words tonight not knowing the purpose of this calling to what seems like nothingness. But as the quote implied above, maybe this isn't nothingness, but maybe this is the great part of the journey.

One can only hope.

~*Melody*~

BTW, my thankfulness post is still on the way. I'm still working on my wording. It's really important that I get this one right.

Not Quite a Transition Yet

Well...the natural progesterone cream did not work for me. I've been off the cream now for 6 days and there's still no sign of AF. So I'm at a stand still yet again. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I desire any thoughts you may have and all the prayers you can give.

This has discouraged me quite a bit. I was hoping and praying that a treatment that seems to work for everyone would work for me. I guess I'm certainly not average in any aspect of my life.

~*Melody*~

A New Adventure

Lately I've decided to take a new adventure. My creative side has always been very important to me. Over the years I've made a little bit of everything, from dollhouses to quilts. I've always felt so free and in my element when I'm letting my creativity flow.

A few months ago, I came across Etsy.com and suddenly fell in love with the idea of selling my own handmade items. After thinking about it and praying for a while, I decided to go ahead and give it a shot.

My first endeavor was painting the outside of an art journal. Honestly, I hadn't had a blank canvas and a palette filled with paints in front of me in many years. But after getting over my initial fears of 'messing up' the canvas, I was soaring high, completely liberated. There was no plan in my mind of where the painting would go. Allowing my brush to lead the way, I was instantly transported somewhere else for just a bit. I was completely carefree to do whatever I wished; without fears.

Could it be that God gave me creativity to overcome the perfectionist; the overachiever; the one who wants control? Could God be calling me to transition from being held down to being truely free? Can I really radiate creativity instead of failure? May this mindset be my 'healing' from the pains of the past and uncompleted work?

I believe I may be transitioning into a time of renewal.

http://creativeradiance.etsy.com