Running

"Its so easy to run FROM God, but so hard to run TO God. I'm going to pray that God gives you that last bit of courage and passion to draw you right to the place where He wants you."

 I wrote these words to a friend tonight and God struck a cord in my heart.  "What are you running from child?  Why must you take the easy way when I've called you into the difficult?"

Talk about knock my breath away for a second!  I would never call my life easy, but what does God see that I don't?  Am I making decisions in life because they are easy or because they are what God wants me to do?  At the moment, I can't answer that question with a definitive answer.  

Philippians 2:5-8 (NKJV)  says this...

⁵ Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, ⁶ who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, ⁷ but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. coming in the likeness of men.

This scripture was the first one I saw today and it was the one I needed.  Jesus was God in the flesh.  He knew all and was (and is) all powerful.   Jesus could have done anything He wanted while in the fleshly body.  Yet He chose to take the difficult path.  He chose to become a servant to man. And He chose to be obedient to the point of death on the cross.  It wasn't easy for Jesus to give up His will and lay it all down for us.  None of the suffering Jesus endured was easy or okay for him, yet He went through it anyway.

When I think of the suffering I've experienced, I should remember the suffering that Christ chose to go through for me.  It's honestly often hard for me to think that Jesus knew the kind of suffering I've experienced.  How did he know the emptiness of my arms?  How did he know what it's like to have a child die inside his body?  But when I really think about it, Jesus chose to live a life alone, without a helpmate, without a wife.  Jesus never knew the joy of holding his own flesh and blood in his arms.  I know the Bible doesn't mention his thoughts on this, but I do imagine that being human he felt the absence of that special family bond.  I know that He knew all our pains and I believe that He knows mine too.  When Jesus went to pray in the garden of Gethsemane, He prayed so hard that His sweat became as blood.  Can you imagine someone praying that hard for you?  To know that He was praying for the coming days and all of us is more than I can even comprehend.  It's no wonder that His whole body was affected.  While He was suffering being beaten, carrying that cross, and finally dying, I was on His mind.  All the pain and shame I've been through was on His mind.  My Jesus ran straight into the difficult and the impossible, not because He wanted to, but because He knew we needed Him to.  He not only became our salvation, but He showed the Way.

*taking a moment to let that sink in*

Lord,

  Examine my heart and mind.  Show me the Way....the way of Your plan, the way of my specific path.  Help me to run to You, God.  I'm much too weak and weary from this journey.  I feel my strength is almost gone. Be the strength and the courage I need.  Help me to put the easy way out of my mind. Give my heart the urgency I once had.  Return to me Lord the complete joy of my salvation.  I desire to see You vividly again. Forgive me for running in any direction other than You.  Thank you Lord for never leaving my side and awakening my spirit.  

In Jesus Name....AMEN

For anyone reading this, be blessed today and know that you have the power to choose which direction you'll run.  

~*Melody*~

Reflections from Women of Faith 2009

I'm writing these entries a bit out of order. But I just couldn't wait any longer to share this with all of you. (And by you, I mean the one or two of you who read this blog.)

This is directly from my paper journal.....

I realized this weekend that I don't know how to extend grace to myself. Maybe I've never even known the true meaning of grace. Talking about this on the drive home, I explained grace as the ultimate pardon of which one doesn't earn. God extends grace to us because He wants to, not because He has to. Personally, I've never given grace to myself. I've only saw perfection and failure with no in betweens. I've left grace out of the mix and caused a lot of unnecessary hardship to myself. Oh what mistakes I've made and oh how horrible I've been to myself !

I know God has been trying to get this message across to me for so long. Yet I've closed my ears so many times to this wisdom. But this weekend, my ears were finally opened and I heard from God. I saw very clearly for the first time in so long.

My grief, bitterness and mostly regret were washed away the moment I asked God to help me allow myself grace. I've been holding on to so many things; much of which I didn't even realize. I've allowed these things to steal my joy and to rob me of the peace from release.

Thank you Father for opening my eyes and my heart. You always mean good for me but I've not been seeing some that good Father. I've been hanging onto the what-ifs and if-onlys in life. But I make a commitment from this point forward to show myself grace in all situations. I ask Lord that You would help me to extend Your grace to myself just as I would to others. I vow to learn the ultimate truth of grace. I want to live in grace instead of regret.
In Jesus Precious Name......AMEN

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardship, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

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So as you can read above, my life is in for a big change. It's also one of the reasons why I want to give this blog an overhaul. I've focused my life over the years through two categories: Success and Failure. No more. My life is much more than a hit or a miss. And so what if I make a few misses here and there. Ultimately those misses shape who I am. Rarely does success make a lasting impact in the grand scheme of things.

I hope you've been encouraged by this entry. I hope God starts speaking to you about grace too. As I mentioned earlier, I'm sure He's been trying to show me this for years, but I was just too stubborn to listen. Please open your ears and listen today. Don't let your own insecurities and/or upbringing keep you from experiencing the grace and joy that God meant for each of us. I encourage you to join with me in this quest for grace.

Blessings to each of you,
~*Melody*~


P.S. There will be a lot more entries on grace in the future. I'm going to be studying this until I feel like God releases me from it. Also the entries about Women of Faith will be coming soon too.
Oh and please if you read, I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment. Your responses and feedback are very important to me.

Women of Faith 2009

This past weekend I went to the Women of Faith conference in Atlanta, GA with my church's womens' ministry. Honestly, I had some pretty low expectations and I was nervous about being with this group of women for the entire weekend. But God surprised me in some amazing ways. I came back refreshed and literally changed in a way I never knew was possible.

I can hardly wait to tell you all about it. I've been journaling the entire weekend with highlights of the weekend. I have yet to write everything completely out, but I plan to do this in a couple different blog posts. I'd like to write the events as chronologically as possible. But I did finish writing out my most important reflection from the weekend. It's a little late tonight and I'm incredibly tired after my day and evening workout, so I'll post more tomorrow.

Be on the look out for my blog posts in the upcoming days. And please if you read them, I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment. Your responses and feedback are very important to me.

~*Melody*~

Seeing God's Glory

Last night as I soaked in the tub, I said a little prayer before I picked up my bible study book. I don't remember everything I prayed for but I do remember asking God to let His glory shine through me and allowing the words of my mouth to reflect Him. At church today the pastor preached on how to see God's glory. On several points he mentioned that God has revealed to him how His glory was confined and could be shared. At first I really didn't understand where the pastor was going with this. I was also holding my godson who had repeated seizures that I had to tend to, so my mind wasn't always fully on the service. I wouldn't change that though because I love spending time just loving on Noah.

Anywho, so at the end of the service the pastor finally shows us exactly what he's talking about. In front of the church was a large mirror that had been covered up the entire service. He had a couple men to come forward to stand in front of the mirror and two on the sides. The two on the sides unveiled the mirror as the pastor asked the first man to walk up to the mirror. (It was tilted so only a person directly in front of the mirror could see a reflection.) So as the first man glanced at his physical reflection, the pastor explained that in that mirror reflected back was the very glory of God. God is glorified through His children. The pastor called random people to see the mirror, each time saying something specific to that person about themselves.

And then, he came over near me, called me out and stretched his hand to lead me to the mirror. It was a moment that is very difficult to explain. I stood there expecting to see only me. But I didn't really see me when I looked at that mirror, I saw light and JOY. Yes I saw joy inside of me. I could barely believe my eyes and tears started welling up in my eyes. The pastor was saying to me that he saw such beauty in that mirror. He was talking about how God was showing His beauty through me. But the beauty he was refering to wasn't a vain type of beauty. I started praising God and I was literally shaking from God's very presence there at that mirror. It's something I won't forget anytime soon for sure.

But it's not the feeling that I find so amazing, it's that God answered my simple prayer from the night before. All this time I've been praying that God would bless us with a child so that I could truly show others God's glory in my life. But I think I've been missing that mark. God's glory has been with me all along, shining through me and reflecting Him. That thrills my soul beyond measure. I desire nothing more than to honor and bring glory to His Holy Name. What a wonderful gift that God gave me this morning.

~*Melody*~

Reflection and Praise

This Easter weekend means so much to us as Christians, yet we often forget to stop and truely thank Jesus for the sacrifices He made for us on the cross. I'm guilty of forgetting to stop and thank Him. But tonight I want to stop for a moment and give Him glory.

It's such an often occasion that I find myself lost in my thoughts about my life. I think of the sacrifices I've given. I think of the losses I've experienced. I think of the unanswered questions and the uncertainties that face me everyday. But how many times have I truely thought about the sacrifices or the losses that Jesus endured? How many times have I thanked Him for not calling every angel down from heaven to help Him off that cross? How often have I thought about what God went through having to turn His back on His Son that day?

In all fairness, I don't think the human mind can fully grasp everything that Jesus did for us that day. But I believe that God allows us to have enough understanding so that we may be thankful and forever grateful.

Abba, my heavenly Father, I thank you for sending Jesus to this Earth to be my Perfect Lamb, the Perfect Sacrifice for my sins. You paid the ultimate price all because You loved me and wanted me to join You in heaven someday. I know that I have failed to recongnize Your sacrifices so many times. Please forgive me for only thinking of myself at times. Help me to lift my eyes up to the Maker of heaven and Earth.

Jesus, my Savior and Lord, thank you for allowing yourself to be nailed to a tree and suffer a horrible death all for my sake. Thank you for always being about Your Father's business. I ask that You help me to do the same. I can't imagine what You must have felt that day hanging on that cross, but I take time today to be thankful for Your personal sacrifices. You died at such a young age and I'm sure that was not only hard on your family but also You. Please help me to see that I can do great things for You in the limited time I have here on this Earth. Praise Your Name Jesus and I Bless Your Name ! I'm so thankful that You rose again on that third day and are alive forevermore. May You radiate through my life each and every day.

In Jesus Name I Pray,
AMEN

~*Melody*~