I'm writing these entries a bit out of order. But I just couldn't wait any longer to share this with all of you. (And by you, I mean the one or two of you who read this blog.)
This is directly from my paper journal.....
I realized this weekend that I don't know how to extend grace to myself. Maybe I've never even known the true meaning of grace. Talking about this on the drive home, I explained grace as the ultimate pardon of which one doesn't earn. God extends grace to us because He wants to, not because He has to. Personally, I've never given grace to myself. I've only saw perfection and failure with no in betweens. I've left grace out of the mix and caused a lot of unnecessary hardship to myself. Oh what mistakes I've made and oh how horrible I've been to myself !
I know God has been trying to get this message across to me for so long. Yet I've closed my ears so many times to this wisdom. But this weekend, my ears were finally opened and I heard from God. I saw very clearly for the first time in so long.
My grief, bitterness and mostly regret were washed away the moment I asked God to help me allow myself grace. I've been holding on to so many things; much of which I didn't even realize. I've allowed these things to steal my joy and to rob me of the peace from release.
Thank you Father for opening my eyes and my heart. You always mean good for me but I've not been seeing some that good Father. I've been hanging onto the what-ifs and if-onlys in life. But I make a commitment from this point forward to show myself grace in all situations. I ask Lord that You would help me to extend Your grace to myself just as I would to others. I vow to learn the ultimate truth of grace. I want to live in grace instead of regret.
In Jesus Precious Name......AMEN
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardship, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
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So as you can read above, my life is in for a big change. It's also one of the reasons why I want to give this blog an overhaul. I've focused my life over the years through two categories: Success and Failure. No more. My life is much more than a hit or a miss. And so what if I make a few misses here and there. Ultimately those misses shape who I am. Rarely does success make a lasting impact in the grand scheme of things.
I hope you've been encouraged by this entry. I hope God starts speaking to you about grace too. As I mentioned earlier, I'm sure He's been trying to show me this for years, but I was just too stubborn to listen. Please open your ears and listen today. Don't let your own insecurities and/or upbringing keep you from experiencing the grace and joy that God meant for each of us. I encourage you to join with me in this quest for grace.
Blessings to each of you,
P.S. There will be a lot more entries on grace in the future. I'm going to be studying this until I feel like God releases me from it. Also the entries about Women of Faith will be coming soon too.
Oh and please if you read, I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment. Your responses and feedback are very important to me.