Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I found the above video on Vicky Beeching's blog and was deeply moved and inspired by it. I've often called myself a dreamer. I dream of things almost as often as I breath. I've been this way since I was a very small child. Dreaming comes so naturally to me. It's the reality that's foreign to me.
In that blog entry Vicky encourages us to dream God's dreams. I've always wanted God's Will for my life, but what about God's dreams? Are my dreams God's dreams?
It does make me ponder and search my own heart. I desire to dream God's dreams. I desire to ever be in His will. I guess I often wonder I really am. Today I received great news and bad news all within a couple hours of each other. Both have made me ponder about my dreams and future; both in distinct ways. So this afternoon I believe I'm going to do some soul and scripture searching. I just long to be in God's presence right now.
Monday, March 24, 2008
I was reading through some blogs tonight and found these interesting videos about how scripture has impacted the lives of BarlowGirl (a Christian music group for those who don't know them). I thought I'd post it here for others who might be interested. I was particularly taken by the one that talked about Isaiah 62:1-5. Anywho....here they are.....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I guess that's never been more true to me than in the past year. I rather like the changes though. They were difficult, at best, but change can definitely be a good thing.
I watched Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea this weekend. The main character, Anne Shirley, always feared change. As an orphan, she grew up in many terrible homes before accidentally being adopted by Merila, a middle aged lady who had a beautiful farm named Green Gables. Anne was supposed to have been a boy to help on the farm. She brought a new world to Green Gables, one that was often chaotic. Amongst the chaos a young lady emerged, poised and elegant, tragically flawed from childhood, but full of dramatic dreams and aspirations. Experiences had changed, but life itself had not changed Miss Anne.
As the story progresses and life happened for Anne, she would often stop and question, "Why must everything change? Why can't things just stay the same?" I've always related to Anne because I myself have often pondered on these same thoughts. Of course, I know that to live is to change, but why must all the good things in life change? Why must things that we once held sacred change? Why must people grow up and grow away from you? These are thoughts that I will never have concrete answers to, nor could I ever truly explain if asked.
The purpose of tonight's entry was to discuss how I'd like to redecorate my blog here, but suddenly my fingers took hold and the words began to spill out onto my unsuspecting keyboard. It's times like these that I simply adore and hold dear. Ironically, it's a time that I hope never changes because it's moments like these that God truly speaks to me and through me.
Change is inevitable, this I'm certain of. I guess in life it doesn't really matter what changes, but how you react to those changes. How does one begin to cope with something that's so unexplainable though? Maybe I shall you leave you with that thought...
maybe I shall leave with a thought all my own. God's done some important things in my life lately; things which I can't even begin to articulate or adequately describe. For me, it has been a time for change; a season of growth; a way to renew my trust in God; and by far the biggest blessing in disguise ever. So in retrospect, maybe just maybe, the answer to why things change is simply: God wills it so.
Father as you see fit, let the times of change come in my life for Your glory alone....
Saturday, March 22, 2008
It's such an often occasion that I find myself lost in my thoughts about my life. I think of the sacrifices I've given. I think of the losses I've experienced. I think of the unanswered questions and the uncertainties that face me everyday. But how many times have I truely thought about the sacrifices or the losses that Jesus endured? How many times have I thanked Him for not calling every angel down from heaven to help Him off that cross? How often have I thought about what God went through having to turn His back on His Son that day?
In all fairness, I don't think the human mind can fully grasp everything that Jesus did for us that day. But I believe that God allows us to have enough understanding so that we may be thankful and forever grateful.
Abba, my heavenly Father, I thank you for sending Jesus to this Earth to be my Perfect Lamb, the Perfect Sacrifice for my sins. You paid the ultimate price all because You loved me and wanted me to join You in heaven someday. I know that I have failed to recongnize Your sacrifices so many times. Please forgive me for only thinking of myself at times. Help me to lift my eyes up to the Maker of heaven and Earth.
Jesus, my Savior and Lord, thank you for allowing yourself to be nailed to a tree and suffer a horrible death all for my sake. Thank you for always being about Your Father's business. I ask that You help me to do the same. I can't imagine what You must have felt that day hanging on that cross, but I take time today to be thankful for Your personal sacrifices. You died at such a young age and I'm sure that was not only hard on your family but also You. Please help me to see that I can do great things for You in the limited time I have here on this Earth. Praise Your Name Jesus and I Bless Your Name ! I'm so thankful that You rose again on that third day and are alive forevermore. May You radiate through my life each and every day.
In Jesus Name I Pray,
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Lately I've been extremely busy with church activities, planning a baby shower, and spending time with family. It seems that 2008 has been nothing but a blur so far. At times I'm just living for the next thrill of the unexpected. I think I'm sorta of liking where this is all heading.
On Friday I'm throwing a baby shower for RL's cousin. This will be her first baby and the first baby shower I've ever thrown. I'm excited to see what everything looks like all put together. I'm hoping and praying that she receives a lot of good gifts and has a fun night out. I'm making dinner that night and will unveil the big homemade cake that I made (and decorated !). I find great joy in trying to make others happy. I've always loved giving gifts to people and seeing their expressions. I hope that the whole night leaves a positive, lasting impression on our family. We could all use a little happiness.
Another great day of celebration this week is Thursday. Thursday marks RL and I's 10th anniversary of being together. I look forward to a fancy dressed up night of food and live jazz at a local restaurant. I'm thrilled to go to a restaurant that requires reservations. It's been so long since we've gotten a chance to do this. We're leaving all the communications outside the restaurant and are just going to enjoy each other that night. I can't wait ! It's so amazing to think back to where we both were 10 years ago. We were both in high school; his senior year, my junior year. The bell had just rang to release us to go back to class after lunch. He pulled me aside and asked me to sit back down. Very nervously he asked me if I still had feelings for him. I (most excitedly) replied, "Umm yes." And then he said, "Well I like you a lot......(brief silence) Would you like to be my girlfriend?" Of course I said yes and then practically floated out of the lunchroom. I don't remember anything about going back to class that day. I'm sure I was late for the next class, because after 6 years of waiting for him he'd finally asked me out. I was the happiest girl on earth that day. I knew at that moment sitting there with him that life would never be the same again. I didn't know how it would be different or even if we'd be together forever, but I knew I was in for a great adventure.
I'm still on that adventure and I wouldn't have it any other way. So many things have happened in these 10 years, both great and tragic, but I'm so thankful to God that He's allowed me to go through it all with the love of my life. I couldn't ask for a better partner to walk through life with. RL completes me in everyway. My love and respect for him grows daily.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
This has discouraged me quite a bit. I was hoping and praying that a treatment that seems to work for everyone would work for me. I guess I'm certainly not average in any aspect of my life.