An MSG Rant **EDIT**

Last night RL and I were in the grocery store trying to find some ranch dressing. I usually make my own dressing, but I was out of the necessary ingredients to make my mix. To avoid spending a bundle on spices, I thought I'd just buy a bottle already made. Boy was I was shocked when I checked the labels of all the popular (aka delicious) brands of ranch dressing ! Every single one of them contained MSG (monosodium glutamate) . It frustrates me to no end that almost everything now contains this harmful substance. It's very difficult to shop for ordinary things. I posted a video below that shows some of the harmful neurological effects of MSG. I also have some physical reactions to MSG. Almost upon touching my tongue, my skin begins to become bright red and blotchy. I start to feel slightly nauseous and if there's a high concentration I can even become dizzy. The next day's effects are much worse though. I experience terrible stomach cramps and diarrhea, which often leave me bed bound for a couple hours.

One recent MSG reaction happened at KFC. I don't usually eat there, but I received some coupons in the mail and gave in. RL had worked a long shift and I had been busy all day, so there was no dinner made at home that day. I went to KFC out of the sheer convenience. I later wished I hadn't given into that convenience factor. We both got the hot bar there. I took a couple bites of some breaded okra and immediately the rush of redness came over my skin. I started to chill and felt like the sides of my face were literally expanding. I continued to eat some chicken and didn't notice any change, but when I ate another piece of okra, my symptoms increased. I'm certain that the okra was full of MSG to cause that degree of a reaction. A bit later, my symptoms started going away, but then I ate a little bite of the skin from my chicken and it all started again. So apparently I now am not able to eat there anymore. Take this as a word of caution if you too are allergic or highly sensitive to MSG.... no KFC.

MSG is a terrible toxin in our foods today. I learned a lot by watching the following video. I had always wondered why I was so drawn to foods with MSG. You ladies know that kind of craving I'm talking about right? You know when your mouth is literally watering thinking about some nice cheesy Doritos or Cheetos or even some peanut butter. Now I know why those things have enticed me so. I hope you'll be enlightened some from this entry and the video below. If you don't want these toxins in your body, please do some research and check your food labels. It's really important to take care of your body, especially for those of us trying to conceive and/or with PCOS.




~*Melody*~

**Edit** I wanted to add a link to another website. http://www.msgtruth.org/
This page in particular.
Apparently there's research now that theorizes some cancers can now be linked to glutamate receptor cells. Interesting...huh?

After Some Prayers...

Since my last post, I've really spent some time in prayer. Most of it though has just been meditative prayer, meaning that I've been just sitting and letting God speak to my heart. God knows the questions that I have and He's honored me by answering a few.

Some answers:
How do I move away from youth ministry? His reply - Slowly. Prayerfully. Guided only by Me.
I'm still not exactly sure what that means, but I know that my biggest apprehension was thinking that I was just going to have to rip myself away like you'd rip a band aid off a wound. I anticipated the transition to happen immediately and that it would leave me empty. I dreaded that feeling of complacency that I have strived so hard to avoid. God's words have brought me some needed reassurance.

Do I just leave these kids and completely turn my back on them? His reply - No.
Again I'm not sure of how my relationships will change with these kids, but apparently God doesn't expect me to leave them high and dry. This eases my heart more than I'm able to articulate. It also gives me hope in the direction He's leading. The thoughts that keep running through my mind are that I may still have a ministry with this age, just that God wants to remove me from the traditional quote-on-quote youth ministry. It's hard to explain, but I feel that God is continually pulling me from these comfort zones that have held me for so long.

What doors will this close for us in our local church? His reply - silence....
I think I know the reason for the silence. I'm sure this is an area that God is trying to show me that He's working behind the scenes. I know the importance of this issue in my mind, but I suspect that He doesn't count this as such an importance. ....ouch....toes...stepped....on.....


So where does this all leave me right now? In a word, still. I'm left still at the moment. My husband and I haven't talked a lot about this. I suspect that God is working on his heart too and I'm sure he'll let me know all about it once he feels like he can. The only thing we've talked about is not doing anything till after the beginning of the new year.

So at this point I'm at....We shall see.

~*Melody*~

Transitions....

Some transitions are easier than others. The one I'm about to describe is not one of the easy ones. It's through transitions like these that I reflect back on these words penned by Ralph Waldo Emerson...

"Not in his goals but in his transitions is man great."

And so as I pen my own words, my heart is heavy. I have felt this tug for a few months and have made every excuse for it. But no longer can I push this tugging aside. What is the tug, you ask? I even dread writing these words. It hurts to even contemplate that I'm going to write the words I know I need to.

It is time I said goodbye; goodbye to youth ministry.

I'm now sure that God is pulling me away. Today I sat and spoke with another youth leader who's been having some questions of their own. Talking with that person solidified the feelings I've been having. My husband and I have spoke about it. He's expressed a desire to let go, but I haven't been able to let go. I don't want to let go, but I feel I must.

There's so many questions on my heart and so many unknowns at this point. My heart literally trembles inside of me as I contemplate the hows of this transition. How do I leave when I know that I don't want to? I know God called me into this so many years ago, yet why am I being called away now? These are the questions I have for God and no human answer will do. I desire to hear from God directly. As scripture says, I will seek God with all my heart and soul and I will find Him (Deut. 4:29).

With a heavy heart, I write these words tonight not knowing the purpose of this calling to what seems like nothingness. But as the quote implied above, maybe this isn't nothingness, but maybe this is the great part of the journey.

One can only hope.

~*Melody*~

BTW, my thankfulness post is still on the way. I'm still working on my wording. It's really important that I get this one right.

Success !

I have finally succeeded in making bread with yeast. Thanks to the recipe and detailed instructions from The Pioneer Woman. I am so pleased with these tasty creations. Sure they aren't all uniform in shape and size, but goodness they taste AMAZING ! I can hardly believe that something so good came from these two hands of mine. This made all the hard work of today worth it. Actually I'm posting this at almost 3am. I have been cleaning and baking all day. Ok the whole truth, yes there was definitely some knitting in there too.

My wonderful husband came home from work and cleaned our master bathroom....without me asking or even knowing !!!! I was so caught up in other things around the house that he had it all cleaned before I even knew it. I was so shocked and thankful all at the same time. Briefly I was overcome with emotion, a sort of pride rose up within me (that kind of pride reserved for your husband) and then that overwhelming love one can't begin to explain. I have been so greatly blessed with such a loving and caring husband. He was so tired from working, yet he put that tiredness aside to help me. Sure my husband isn't the most romantic man, but my how generous and thoughtful. He loves me so purely that sometimes it feels like a dream; a dream I shouldn't be a part of. I'm so very thankful that God gave this wonderful man to me.

I haven't forgotten about my thankfulness post. It's been on my mind all day, so much so that I almost dropped everything to go sit at the local coffee shop and write. I probably should have done that, but household obligations held me back. I'm starting the entry in the morning, but I'm thinking about publishing it on Thanksgiving.

Tonight as I was thinking and pondering on various things, a decent book title came to my mind. For those that don't know, I do plan on writing a book at the end of our infertility battle; whatever God chooses to happen will be in those pages. It may never be published, but it will still be written. This recent NaNo challenge that many have participated in has really encouraged and inspired me to spread my writing wings. As a child, I often dreamed about being a writer or an exciting journalist. I've always been drawn to a pen and paper/keyboard. Somehow I lost that urge to chase writing dreams along the way. I'm sure it had something to do with losing confidence in myself, but we won't go there tonight.

Sorry this has been so random. I'll blame it on the time
;-) It's now just about to turn 3am. I am scheduled to go to Murphy with my mom for a quick errand at 10am. And then the rest of my day will be spent cooking, cleaning and preparing my home for a day of visitors. I truely enjoy having dinner guests and wish I could have more dinners and parties in my home. One day I'll live in a place that will better accommodate that and I'll have ladies and children over often. I desire nothing more than to use the skills God has given me to bless others. Charity does begin at home...often from more humble beginnings, as God continues to teach me.

Preparations for Thanksgiving

We all have so much to be thankful for, but I often get lost in the whole preparations of Thanksgiving that I forget to be thankful. So this year I'm going to take some time out to blog about things I'm really thankful for. I plan to do that early Wednesday morning as I'm waking up and drinking my apple cider.

This is the verse that randomly appeared on my blog today...it's so fitting....
"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6-7)

It's been so rainy and dreary here today that I've wanted nothing more than to curl up under some covers and just listen to the rain. But I've fought off the urge by sitting here in the living room next to Lola (my cockateil). We've been either watching videos at iTunes or YouTube all day while I've been knitting. LOL, she loves to watch things on my laptop. I have royally spoiled her. If I could I would teach her to knit with me so I'd have a knitting partner. She does share my love of yarn afterall.

Ok I'm off to get ready for a little Thanksgiving play that my god daughter Genna is staring in tonight. I'm videoing it so I may have a little snippet to share soon.

Blessings,
~*Melody*~

Seeing God's Glory

Last night as I soaked in the tub, I said a little prayer before I picked up my bible study book. I don't remember everything I prayed for but I do remember asking God to let His glory shine through me and allowing the words of my mouth to reflect Him. At church today the pastor preached on how to see God's glory. On several points he mentioned that God has revealed to him how His glory was confined and could be shared. At first I really didn't understand where the pastor was going with this. I was also holding my godson who had repeated seizures that I had to tend to, so my mind wasn't always fully on the service. I wouldn't change that though because I love spending time just loving on Noah.

Anywho, so at the end of the service the pastor finally shows us exactly what he's talking about. In front of the church was a large mirror that had been covered up the entire service. He had a couple men to come forward to stand in front of the mirror and two on the sides. The two on the sides unveiled the mirror as the pastor asked the first man to walk up to the mirror. (It was tilted so only a person directly in front of the mirror could see a reflection.) So as the first man glanced at his physical reflection, the pastor explained that in that mirror reflected back was the very glory of God. God is glorified through His children. The pastor called random people to see the mirror, each time saying something specific to that person about themselves.

And then, he came over near me, called me out and stretched his hand to lead me to the mirror. It was a moment that is very difficult to explain. I stood there expecting to see only me. But I didn't really see me when I looked at that mirror, I saw light and JOY. Yes I saw joy inside of me. I could barely believe my eyes and tears started welling up in my eyes. The pastor was saying to me that he saw such beauty in that mirror. He was talking about how God was showing His beauty through me. But the beauty he was refering to wasn't a vain type of beauty. I started praising God and I was literally shaking from God's very presence there at that mirror. It's something I won't forget anytime soon for sure.

But it's not the feeling that I find so amazing, it's that God answered my simple prayer from the night before. All this time I've been praying that God would bless us with a child so that I could truly show others God's glory in my life. But I think I've been missing that mark. God's glory has been with me all along, shining through me and reflecting Him. That thrills my soul beyond measure. I desire nothing more than to honor and bring glory to His Holy Name. What a wonderful gift that God gave me this morning.

~*Melody*~

11-15-08 Journal from the Tub

I often journal while soaking in the tub. Tonight I thought about making some of these little writings available at my blog. So enjoy....

11-15-08 Lounging in the Tub

Ah, yes lounging in the tub with a good book, pen, paper, highlighter and a nice warm cup of apple cider. 'Tis a wonderful life at the moment ! There's just nothing quite like a nice hot bubble bath to cure what ails you. I'm very thankful for times like these when I'm allowed to let all the troubles, cares and worries of this life drift off into a sea of nothingness. Yes, 'tis grand. Praise be to the Lord !

~*Melody*~