Since my last post, I've really spent some time in prayer. Most of it though has just been meditative prayer, meaning that I've been just sitting and letting God speak to my heart. God knows the questions that I have and He's honored me by answering a few.
How do I move away from youth ministry? His reply - Slowly. Prayerfully. Guided only by Me.
I'm still not exactly sure what that means, but I know that my biggest apprehension was thinking that I was just going to have to rip myself away like you'd rip a band aid off a wound. I anticipated the transition to happen immediately and that it would leave me empty. I dreaded that feeling of complacency that I have strived so hard to avoid. God's words have brought me some needed reassurance.
Do I just leave these kids and completely turn my back on them? His reply - No.
Again I'm not sure of how my relationships will change with these kids, but apparently God doesn't expect me to leave them high and dry. This eases my heart more than I'm able to articulate. It also gives me hope in the direction He's leading. The thoughts that keep running through my mind are that I may still have a ministry with this age, just that God wants to remove me from the traditional quote-on-quote youth ministry. It's hard to explain, but I feel that God is continually pulling me from these comfort zones that have held me for so long.
What doors will this close for us in our local church? His reply - silence....
I think I know the reason for the silence. I'm sure this is an area that God is trying to show me that He's working behind the scenes. I know the importance of this issue in my mind, but I suspect that He doesn't count this as such an importance. ....ouch....toes...stepped....on.....
So where does this all leave me right now? In a word, still. I'm left still at the moment. My husband and I haven't talked a lot about this. I suspect that God is working on his heart too and I'm sure he'll let me know all about it once he feels like he can. The only thing we've talked about is not doing anything till after the beginning of the new year.
So at this point I'm at....We shall see.