Please excuse the under renovations !

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Maybe I Need to Rant More Often?

Wow I think I got more comments on the last entry than I have on almost any other. Who would have known that talking about MSG would get such a response? Maybe I need to rant more often? *shrugs*

I've been battling a nasty little bug for the past 48 hours. I'm not sure what it is/was exactly. Yesterday I thought it was sinus related because I had some sinus and throat symptoms. But those seem to be pretty much gone today. Thank the Lord. I was so miserable all day yesterday. I haven't even left the house since Saturday afternoon. So, yes, that means that I missed church all day Sunday.

I'm in such a strange place spiritually. On one hand I feel like God has opened some new horizons for me. I feel like He's opening up the Word so fresh to me. I'm studying things lately that I've wanted to forever. God has spoken to me everytime I've opened up my Bible. It's such a time of refreshing on a personal level. But then there's the other side of my spirituality, it's a part that feels dry and somewhat distant. It's strange to feel such extremes. The latter part I believe is directly related to church life. There's times when I almost dread to go. It's not that I don't like my church, its just that compared to my personal times with God, it feels so dry. Does that make any sense? Maybe my expectations of church are different than they should be. I expect to go and be fed; truely fed the Word of God. The messages are good and I'm not trying to complain about them, but I just don't feel that same level as my personal times. Should I or am I expecting too much? It's just strange.

On the TTC front, things seem to be going smoothly. My cycle looks great so far. This is our last attempt at pregnancy in 2008. A big part of me is very apathetic about our chances for this year. I want to be hopeful, but right now I'm just surviving I guess. Unless you've been through this battle, it's hard to imagine the stress of it all. As the days go on, adoption is looking more and more appealing to me. But I know, for me, this is a temptation to give up. I must obey what God has asked me to do; simply believe and be still.

I'm off to find something to cook for dinner tonight.



Vanessa said...

It is scary how MSG is in so much of our food! I went to a chinese resturant awhile back and there was a sign that read something along the lines of "Food can be made without MSG". Yikes!

I hope this time around with TTC is a positive experience! God's will be done!

Daniel's Mom said...

I am praying you are over whatever it was you had.

I miss being in church regularly or being more involved,but it's a season of life. I don't get to read and study as much as I used too. Now, I'm actually having to apply what I've read,it's an odd time for me in ways.

I pray the TTC is also a positive experience. *hugs*

Korey said...

I am hoping you are feeling well!

As far as church goes, I just think you should remember that church isn't a requirement to being a Christian, and I can understand that place you are right now. I feel bad when I don't go, but I really LOVE RWOC. But the year before that I only went to church maybe 8 to 10 times. I didn't feel guilty because Franklin and I didn't have a church near us that we enjoyed and I couldn't see making ourselves go just because it's "the Christian thing to do". I hope this doesn't come off bad. It wasn't that the messages weren't great, but the Church's we visited just weren't us.

Anyway, I pray that you and RL will hold a little one in your arms by the time I graduate :) God's power is always amazing.


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