Wow I think I got more comments on the last entry than I have on almost any other. Who would have known that talking about MSG would get such a response? Maybe I need to rant more often? *shrugs*
I've been battling a nasty little bug for the past 48 hours. I'm not sure what it is/was exactly. Yesterday I thought it was sinus related because I had some sinus and throat symptoms. But those seem to be pretty much gone today. Thank the Lord. I was so miserable all day yesterday. I haven't even left the house since Saturday afternoon. So, yes, that means that I missed church all day Sunday.
I'm in such a strange place spiritually. On one hand I feel like God has opened some new horizons for me. I feel like He's opening up the Word so fresh to me. I'm studying things lately that I've wanted to forever. God has spoken to me everytime I've opened up my Bible. It's such a time of refreshing on a personal level. But then there's the other side of my spirituality, it's a part that feels dry and somewhat distant. It's strange to feel such extremes. The latter part I believe is directly related to church life. There's times when I almost dread to go. It's not that I don't like my church, its just that compared to my personal times with God, it feels so dry. Does that make any sense? Maybe my expectations of church are different than they should be. I expect to go and be fed; truely fed the Word of God. The messages are good and I'm not trying to complain about them, but I just don't feel that same level as my personal times. Should I or am I expecting too much? It's just strange.
On the TTC front, things seem to be going smoothly. My cycle looks great so far. This is our last attempt at pregnancy in 2008. A big part of me is very apathetic about our chances for this year. I want to be hopeful, but right now I'm just surviving I guess. Unless you've been through this battle, it's hard to imagine the stress of it all. As the days go on, adoption is looking more and more appealing to me. But I know, for me, this is a temptation to give up. I must obey what God has asked me to do; simply believe and be still.
I'm off to find something to cook for dinner tonight.