As I wrote in the last post, life has been dramatically different for me over the past few months. I took an online hiatus in August because our home was finally blessed with a child. We picked up our dear sweet 18 month old from a very abusive situation one hot rainy August evening. It was very sudden and completely unplanned, but quite possibly the highlight of my entire life. This little boy filled our hearts and our home very quickly. We were in hopes that we'd get to give him a permanent home. We'd spoken with various people in social services about adoption and thought we were well on our way there. Unfortunately on Valentine's Day, only a few days before his second birthday, social services called me into their office under the false pretense of discussing some paperwork but instead took our beloved little boy away from us. We were understandably devastated and completely heartbroken.
We know that he was given back to his biological mother and taken to a local homeless shelter. She had nothing for him and he only left with the clothes on his back. I can't let my mind think about it too much now, but the thing that tore me up the worst was knowing how confused he must have been. My husband and I were the only stable parents he'd ever known. We were his parents for a little over 6 months and as a mother I hurt deeply for him, along with my own personal pain.
Just as quickly as we became parents, we weren't parents anymore. I still consider myself that little boy's mother, no matter what biology says. I'll always hold his heart in mine, just as I have for the many other children who've came and left our lives. There have been many dark days and nights since he left us, but God has began healing my heart again.
I hope to be able to share my joys as a mother in the coming weeks. There are lots of memories that will cherish till the day I die. Being that little boy's mother, no matter how short lived, was the greatest experience of my life.
"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me" 1 Corinthians 15:10 NKJV