Reality Check

Sometimes we all need to take the time to do a reality check on ourselves. Today I decided to go to the library for a while so I could focus on preparing for my class that starts on Sunday. I was sitting there getting out my laptop, notebook and Bible when it really hit me. I'm getting to do exactly what I wanted to do. Yes you read that right, something is actually perfect in my life just the way I had always hoped it would be.

Let me elaborate here. You see I've always wanted nothing more than to be in full time ministry. I've never really cared about working a secular job, because I never had the true desire for money. Sure I know that we all need money to survive in life and I know that I do look for ways to earn little bits here and there on the side, but it's not my focus or ultimate goal in life. I've always had my heart set on staying at home, taking care of my family and doing God's work.

And I'm doing that right now!

Oh the joy that flooded through my soul when I realized that God had this in the plan all along. I've had days where I've literally mopped around the house feeling sorry for myself; times spent missing the past and my 'status' in the world. But all along God was preparing me and teaching me how to live out the life He had planned for me.

While it's not the exact picture of ministry I had planned, it's still ministry. Maybe God is testing me with this small thing so He can make sure I can handle the bigger things. Or maybe this is MY big thing. Maybe God is simply showing me His plan, no matter how different it is from my plan.

I am so excited to begin teaching this new class. It will be the first women's Sunday school class that I've ever done. I'll be teaching this group for the next three months. We are going to be using the Beth Moore study called Stepping Up. In preparing for the class I've been so blessed. This study is excellent. I encourage each of you to find a study in your area if possible or do the study on your own. The videos can be downloaded online for $5 each and are well worth the investment. I about shouted just listening to the Introduction video. They are seriously that good.

Thank you Father for a renewed sense of joy and zeal. It is my prayer that Your passion will be contagious and others will catch it. Use me Lord, this simple body of clay, to be a vessel that proclaims truth and gives glory and honor only unto You.

~*Melody*~

TTC Update

(Go Back an Entry for more Updates about 'Normal' things)

I have some wonderful news to share with the blog world.... NATURAL PROGESTERONE CREAM WORKS FOR ME !!!!!

I'm so excited, can't you tell? Finally after two cycles of progesterone cream I finally started a new cycle and can continue this natural path of trying to conceive again. After such a hard road getting here, this has renewed my faith and encouraged me to continue.

Today I began taking Soy Isoflavones to encourage my body to have healthy ovulation. I will take 120mg cycle day 3-7. So far I've just been a little extra crampy since taking the Soy. I was a bit grossed out by the smell of the Soy too. But as long as I don't burp them up, everything will be fine there.

I'll begin checking for ovulation at day 10 or so. There's a new test kit out now that offers 20 strips in one kit, so I'll be using that one for the next couple cycles until everything regulates. To all you pregnant ladies out there, send me some baby dust ! LOL.

~*Melody*~

Cooking, Freezing and Baking

Over the past couple weeks, I've been doing my best to find ways to reduce our grocery bill and reduce our food waste. I've bought more sensibly and have actually made a lot more food for a lot less money. (I'm also sure that God had a hand in stretching our finances.)

Here's what I've made (regrettably I didn't take any pictures):
Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup - I use the word soup lightly though, because after I served the first serving almost all the soup absorbed into the noodles. But even though there's very little soup, it was still very delicious for the first batch of leftovers. I have a huge freezer container frozen for a later date. But here's the best part about all this....the cost of 12-15 servings $9. And the ingredients were completely organic, except for the noodles. Next time I'll be making my own noodles, so that will reduce the price too.

Homemade Potato Soup - OMG this is the first potato soup that I've ever liked. It was so rich and divine. YUM-O. I have another huge freezer container frozen for a later date. The price: $6.50 for 12-15 servings with organic potatoes and antibiotic and steroid free milk.

Homemade Turkey Chili - Adrian gave me her recipe for Chili Beans. I used that as a starting point for my tasty concoction. I used all organic ingredients. 8 servings - $5

I've also frozen two large containers of shredded cabbage and carrots. I found a steal of a sale on cabbage and I bought several pounds. I had the organic carrots left over from the chicken noodle I made earlier. I'm praying that the cabbage freezes well. I've been told that it does, but this is my first attempt.

I'm hoping to start making homemade breads soon. I have a few recipes to try, so I'm hoping to find a winning one. I bought yeast a few weeks ago when it was on sale for 25 cents a packet. It's usually about 70 cents a packet. I have been baking biscuits and cornbread lately so we've saved a lot on buying rolls and sandwich bread. I'm planning to spend some time in the near future to freeze some biscuit dough for quick use.

Today I'm going to be baking and decorating a cake for a party tomorrow. I'm looking forward to making my own buttercream frosting again. I have a much better recipe now and some experience with it under my belt. I'll post pictures of how I decorate the cake too. I love decorating cakes with some great tips and a bag. It's like painting on a cake. One of these days I'm going to buy one of those air guns to decorate food with. I think that would be such fun. It will bring back childhood memories of using my dad's air paint gun to make t-shirts and art prints.

~*Melody*~

A Twitter Post

Since the dear library won't allow me to use Twitter (ugh), I'm going to do a quick post here.

I've been sitting here in the library using some (crappy at best ) WiFi, in an attempt to download my precious writings out of my online diary. Regretably, the diary site is closing down and I'm forced to find a new place to host my online diary. It is much different than blog.

Anywho, a quick blognote....libraries are the loudest places on earth....completely filled with the latest old lady, middle age lady, teen and childhood gossip. My brain hurts from the overload of information in here.

~*Melody*~

Oh the Difference a Day Can Make

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

The above scripture was the scripture of the day on my Facebook page when I visited tonight. Yesterday was such a great day. Things just finally seemed to all be falling in place. I was so happy and felt joy way down deep inside. But today.....well today has been a real test of my faith. Wow what a difference a day can make!

I am completely exhausted tonight. I'm suffering from pure emotional and mental exhaustion. I'm doing my best to trust in God to provide and handle things. I'm ashamed to say but honestly I'm really struggling with that trust thing tonight. I guess I just need to go spend some time in the Word and in prayer. My dear husband has assured me that he knows everything will be just fine and will work itself out. I admire his faith so much. I wish I had that level of grounded faith like he does.

~*Melody*~

Scripture and Joy

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” (James 3:17-18)

Another one of those scriptures of the day that is very relevant to my life lately. I just now remember that I still need to write about the other one I posted last week or so.

I'm off to ponder this while cooking a late dinner for my husband.

~*Melody*~

BTW: I'm super excited right now because I just found out that my new laptop will be here TOMORROW !!!! Oh my, how blessed I'm feeling right now; first yesterday's blessings at church and now a laptop too. P. U. R. E. J. O. Y.

Oh Lord You Humble Me....

I was humbled and deeply touched last night during youth group. It was a different night where the youth pastor spoke about stepping up to the plate and really doing something for God. He kept asking questions like, "are you just playing church and playing serving God or are you really doing something? "What are you doing for God?" I sat there the whole time not able to really answer the questions. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore and to me that's very humbling.

No longer do I have the blanket answer - "well I'm a youth pastor or I work in a counselor's office with disabled students." No now I only have myself and God to answer to. I can't hide behind a position of importance, I can only be me.

Over this past year and a half of changes, I believe humility is the biggest lesson I've learned. I always thought I was humble before. But I wasn't really, I just hid my pride behind my professional positions. I didn't understand that in one brief second all that could be stripped away from me and I'd just be left standing still, exposed in front of God.

Humility, like patience, is a VERY hard lesson to learn. It's proven to be one of the most painful areas of discipline for me.

~*Melody*~

BTW, I will get around to writing about the scripture I posted in the last post.

Conversations Full of Grace

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6)

This was my scripture of the day today. I must come back and elaborate on this. Lately a lot of scriptures have either popped into my head for teaching or been read at church along the same lines. It must be a God-sign for me to focus on them. So I shall write about this later (today hopefully).

Still Waiting

I'm in the middle of the five day waiting game. In a few days I'll find out if the progesterone cream is actually going to work or if I'll have to revert to taking Provera, a synthetic progestin that has some major side effects. I'm hoping and praying that the progesterone cream works to its fullest potential this time.

So far I've completely lost my baby bump. I'm estimating that I've lost around 5-8 pounds worth of pure fluid. It's great knowing that I'm able to loose some weight now. I have been planning on aggressively trying to loose weight, but so far my efforts have been short lived. I can't seem to find the utter motivation just to go walk around the track a few days a week. I have no excuse, except yesterday and today. Yesterday I had a horrible mixture of allergies and a toothache and today it rained almost all day. I know that loosing weight, even 5-10 lbs, could help jumpstart my system again, yet why do I find it so hard to actually just go for it?

I don't know what gets into me sometimes. I know what I want, yet I sit back and don't really go for it. I could be talking about several other of those transitional things in my life there too. But that's for another entry entirely.

Goodnight.....at 3AM!