I was humbled and deeply touched last night during youth group. It was a different night where the youth pastor spoke about stepping up to the plate and really doing something for God. He kept asking questions like, "are you just playing church and playing serving God or are you really doing something? "What are you doing for God?" I sat there the whole time not able to really answer the questions. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore and to me that's very humbling.
No longer do I have the blanket answer - "well I'm a youth pastor or I work in a counselor's office with disabled students." No now I only have myself and God to answer to. I can't hide behind a position of importance, I can only be me.
Over this past year and a half of changes, I believe humility is the biggest lesson I've learned. I always thought I was humble before. But I wasn't really, I just hid my pride behind my professional positions. I didn't understand that in one brief second all that could be stripped away from me and I'd just be left standing still, exposed in front of God.
Humility, like patience, is a VERY hard lesson to learn. It's proven to be one of the most painful areas of discipline for me.
BTW, I will get around to writing about the scripture I posted in the last post.