Well it's been a couple months now since our last miscarriage and it's time to hop back on the trying to conceive train. Again.....
So I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but I know it's something that we must do if we plan to use the next couple years effectively. I've yet to start back on the vitamins and supplements, but I have used my natural progesterone cream, plan to start the soy isoflavones on Thursday, and have added apple cider vinegar twice a day. We are still determined to stay on the natural side of treatments.
I think I'm healthy enough now to add some exercise back into my daily routine. Adding exercise has been proven to give your ovaries an added boost, so hey why not. I'd love to loose some weight, but I'm really not focused on that right now. I just want to be as healthy as I can be and hold my child in my arms. I know it's going to be hard getting myself to exercise again. It's been over a year now since I've even been healthy enough to attempt exercise. But it's time now.
Lately several people have challenged my faith in regards to stopping trying for our own child and going down the adoption route. It's very strange that so many different people would come at me with the adoption card all at the same time (this is not said in disrespect to anyone adopting or a child of adoption). Now I'm not against adoption in anyway and I'm not saying that we won't ever adopt a child, but right now I believe that God is telling us to wait. I'm waiting on His promises to us. It's a difficult thing to be in a constant state of waiting, but it is what God has told me to do and it's what I will continue to do, no matter how much it hurts.
20 Keep my soul, and deliver me;
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.
Psalm 130:6 My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning—
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Hear my heart Father and bless my complete faith and trust in You. I want you to use me for your glory Lord, even if that means showing myself and others the beauty of waiting on You. Be lifted up and glorified in me Lord. Let Your will be done and move Lord, move Lord. Let that latter rain fall afresh on me. I desire You Lord. I desire to hear Your sweet voice say, Child I am pleased with you. I want you to be pleased in me Lord and not just me pleased with me. Continue to help me Lord as I battle against this vessel of clay; this tug of the flesh that I'm constantly pulling against. So tonight I pray these words and scriptures over my life....may You and Your Word ever be alive in my life......In Jesus Name AMEN.